jitteryrestlessnessfreakin

I'm stressed far more easily lately. I've recently become aware of how tightly wrapped my emotions are, and how much they resent this. I can't sit still and work on something - I need to get up and walk around. I'm trying to relax a little, find out what's digging at me and fix it.

There's something about silence that bothers me. It can't only be me, just look at society - everyone is going somewhere, doing something. They're always busy, always doing something, or looking for something to do. I don't think they want to slow down and look at themselves. On some level, I think this is getting to me as well. I'm having a slight freak out.

I'm afraid of what I'll find, on some level. I know I have repressed anger towards my dad, I know I feel isolated from my family and I've worked TOWARDS that, because I don't like them. I'm not sure why - they just bother me, on some level. I flirt with girls, but I don't feel like I could ever be with one (at this point in time). I like being in control of my emotions, to not feel strongly so that I can always be unbiased and fair.

I don't think this is working. I may need to reconsider my strategies and values.