About that emo post

I went and talked with my friend about it, and we eventually came to a good conclusion. I'm actually extremely satisfied with it. I had been projecting a lot of insecurity, and I just needed to face it. I always lose friends. Always. And I didn't want to lose her. So all of this came to a head, and I admitted it to her. She helped me get my head together, and, well, yeah. Giant load off my back.

Here was the original post.

"Today, I let myself introspect. I've been pushing my emotions down, trying to find a good time to deal with them, but it's getting harder. So I tried to let some of it out... and am now in more than moderate pain. I met a girl just over a year ago now, and she really was something else. We considered dating, but it never worked out and this is what I keep coming back to. What if I had said yes. Can I still say yes? Have I blown my chance with this incredible girl forever? I told her at the time that we should wait, and I really did mean I wanted to wait. I was willing to wait for as long as I needed to. but she thought I meant we should forever remain friends and so distanced herself... I still love her with every bone in my body, and if I never get another chance to be something more than a friend than I still consider myself extremely blessed, but...

Things used to be a lot harder in her life, and even though I tried with all my strength to help I would wind up drained and exhausted. Now, though, things are better and I've waited.....

This post feels like a mistake. It feels like something I should type out and then erase. Maybe I'll just email it to myself and hold it for when we're older and wiser, and maybe then I'll be able to look at this, and delete it. But for now, I don't have the strength. It hurts so badly."